how do I love you

How do I love you?

Recently while studying I learned that the greeks have 4 different words for love.  They are

Storge - Familial, such as mother, father, daughter, brother, etc

Philia - Friendship

Eros - Intimate, sexual, romantic

Agape - General love for everyone (charity)

I would like to note that the greeks considered Philia to be the deepest and truest form of love.  I want to elaborate on that concept and speak about how I love people.

I considered my family to be a combination of Philia and Storge while I considered my spouse to be a combination of Philia and Eros.  I found that to me Storge, Eros, and Agape seemed to define the type of relationship while Philia defined the depth and strength of the relationship.

I say this because I see people all the time who have a lot of Eros for each other.  Some of these people get married only to find that their relationship had no substance.  I have also seen people who love their family because they are family, but they are not close to them.  THey do not considered anyone in their family, or only a few people, to be friends.  For me I feel grateful to have a deep relationship with my immediate family.  But if I look out to some of my extended family, such as some really really distant cousins.  I can honestly say that I have some friends who I love more than them.  

My spouse is my best friend!  One thing that makes my relationship unique with my spouse is she is not only my best friend but we have Eros for each other.  That is something special and unique to our marriage and is a kind of love that we do not share with anyone else.

I would also add that I have some friends that I am so close to that I would add Storge because I consider them to be brothers, or father like figures, or so on.

Then of course you have Agape.  I would say that in general I do have a love for people.  I want to help people, I would say that I have compassion.  I would say that Agape is just sort of a general feeling for everyone.